The past couple of years have been really hard for me. The year I was turning 30 I changed my career. It wasn’t a small shift either, it was huge, complete 360. I had written in a blog on Yahoo at the time that I was making this change and that others would soon follow. I won’t mention what the others were on here but those of you that know me, know what they are. It’s funny that I said that back then, that was over 3 years ago and even though my career changed and grew, I still haven’t made those other changes. Even more interesting to me is that I myself am a completely different person than I was then. I came from a small town in Southern Ohio. All of my friends dreamed of getting married, having kids and staying home. All but one…Elizabeth. Elizabeth and I knew we were different. We had the same dreams of moving to the city and working for a big corporate firm. I had dreamt of this since I was little, except that instead of being a corporate guru, I was going to be famous! When I met Elizabeth, we instantly clicked. After high school, we moved to Columbus to pursue our dreams. What a great summer….in the beginning. Things got crazy, she and I fought a lot and eventually, I moved home. Well I never lost focus of my dream. I didn’t stay home for long. I eventually moved back to Columbus. I worked at a large retail chain and moved up quickly. It lacked something though. I wanted to move on, they asked me to go to Chicago or Detroit to run the districts but I was told no by someone. I don’t take being told no very well. I suppose this is when I started to rebel.
Since I wasn’t “allowed” to go any further with this career, I changed courses. I was looking for a better way. I will skip ahead because I already wrote about the next three years in a previous post. See, I love the city. I despise the country. I like the country for weekend trips, camping and that sort of thing but I feel at peace in the city. I live close enough now that I can see the skyline on a clear day or night. I drive downtown constantly. People really close to me choose to ignore this desire inside of me. Oh well. I have made some new friends, friends that seem to understand this in me. I have had new friends since about three years ago and the circle keeps getting bigger. I love people, I don’t think it is all about me. I listen to my friends, I care about them, I want to help them any way I can. I love it when my friends want to hang out with me and when they are willing to go downtown with me. Certain people, in my close circle, they don’t like people. I am having a hard time with this. I am not a one best friend kind of girl. I have many friends, many many close friends. They all bring something different to the table. There is a piece of me in every one of them and vice versa.
So the thing I ponder about most these days is this….if I have grown this much in three years, where will I be three years from now. Do I stay stagnant in the area I wish to change but have been to afraid to do so, or do I take that leap and start living my life to the fullest extent possible? I guess I have some tough thinking to do.
I should note, in case Elizabeth reads this….I met up with her again this year,in March. We had been talking on facebook and well, older and wiser….we are till truly good friends. We also still have the same dreams….who knows what the future bring to her and I.